I can count on one hand all of my blog posts last year. That’s a really terrible feeling, and it only adds to a lengthy list of why last year was just complete and utter crap.
I had my heart completely stomped on. The fact that I even was able to put out two posts on here after that is a miracle, let me tell you. I lost a lot of myself after that. Since this isn’t my personal writing blog, you can view my posts here and here to get some good insight into where I was a couple places along the way. We’ll just sum it up here as an absolute shitshow of emotion. …yep, that adequately sums that up.
Fast forward to six months later and I’m moving across the country, from Wisconsin to Colorado, over a thousand miles away from pretty much everyone that loves me. I have an apartment, I have a job lined up, everything’s fine, everything’s going to be great, I’m going to move with my life, it’s all going to be awesome… None of that became true. I struggled in my living situation, I lost my job after two and a half months, I was absolutely miserable in my life. There was no fitting this blog into there. There was really no fitting of anything truly joyful into my life. Everything I had tried to create and cultivate had fallen to pieces. There wasn’t much to put my soul into, and quite frankly there wasn’t a lot of soul available to put into anything.
So far in 2016 the outlook looks better. I went into my Christmas travels with a job on lock to start after the new year, my living situation has steadily improved, I took up swing dancing which has been so incredibly fun and rewarding so far, and I’m feeling a lot more secure in myself again. Out of everything I lost in 2015, losing myself hit me the hardest. I had worked so long to build up a self-confidence I lacked, and on that fatal evening back in February, everything I had built had collapsed. A lot of rebuilding has taken place, and I finally feel like I’m once again building on stable ground.
I’ve missed running this blog. During my stint of unemployment, I worked part-time at Sephora for the holiday season. It made me realize how much I missed talking about products and sitting at my mirror creating. Sharing recipes had also influenced my life because it kept me cooking and looking for better recipes to make, and while I was staying more-or-less on track with lifting, the health area of my life could’ve used some TLC as well. I needed this blog back in my life.
I want to brush off all the dust and cobwebs and come back here. I have already brushed off all the rubble left by 2015’s destruction, and I’m rebuilding. I will rebuild this blog. I’m going to come back. It’s time to clear the way for my return!
Stay well, stay beautiful, get ready xx